Sunday, May 13, 2007

All In A Mother's Day

In the middle of the whirlwind and on the heels of a week totally not mine, I spent the afternoon with my two great kids.

I have a daughter and son who are six years apart. They are truly wonderful people of their own. They're funny, smart, and they have big hearts well beyond the size of a lot of grownups.

When you leave a marriage, and you have children, you can't help but feel you're ruining their lives. Then again, most of us with kids feel that any decision we make will be blamed for that. Nonetheless, rather than make a big stink and get a lawyer (a really, really stupid move which I later corrected at least to the benefit of the children), I got my own small place, signed the papers, and away we went into the land of singleparenthood.

For the most part, it seems they've adjusted fairly well. At times though, because I work for a very tiny firm and don't have the luxuries of lots of time off or a big salary, I feel that I'm disappointing them. I've made us a pretty nice home, and I'm proud of the fact that I was able to give them some space of their own. We can't afford to travel much, but we do take advantage of a lot of the cultural organizations we have locally, so we're never bored! And sometimes we love to just hang out and play games ourselves or in the company of other friends and family.

I hope they remember these times. We may not enjoy the vast real estate of other families or even what they have at their Dad's, but our little corner is at least a place to call home and we make the most of it. I'll always worry that in the end, our mass consumption culture, their abundant exposure to media, and other families' emphasis on maintaining the status quo will make the life I'm trying to give them look like purgatory.

This is really a love song, but as I took the only evening walk I'm likely to get this week, it came on and I realized how it reminded me of the way I feel about making things better for them. I know that every mother feels this, no matter how secure she may be.

To all the women who are mothers, especially single ones, I hope your day was filled with rich moments and reminders that all you are doing is worth it. To all the women I know who are not moms, thank you for being the kind of loving, nurturing, wonderful people I'm glad I have in my life.

Here's to no more Hard Times.

Tell me you love me
These days I need you more then ever before
Don't give up on me.
Nobody else - could ever love you more - than I - do
We all need someone.
Someone to believe in - this life that we are sharing
That's all love and trust.
If it takes a lifetime - I will never stop my trying
There's a better life for us.
Hard times can hold us down forever
Hard times are gonna fade away.
Hard times we can let them stop us darlin'
There will be a better day.
There will be a better day.

High as the wild birds fly - wild and free that's how I dream
I got to keep on dreaming
We can have - what we cannot see tomorrow
On a highest mountain.
On a highest mountain - we can watch those wild bird fly
We can drift away.
Find our own new sky - as long as you are with me
I'll never stop dreaming.
Hard times won't hold us down forever
Hard times are gonna fade away.
Hard times we can let them stop us darlin'
There will be a better day.
There will be a better day.


At May 15, 2007 6:38 AM, Anonymous Anonymous said...

What a beautiful posting, MM! Have you ever read any Tillie Olsen?

Love you.


At May 15, 2007 8:23 PM, Blogger Shameless Agitator said...

You're a great mom! I'm so glad we've grown up together as mothers. What a special bond to have.


At May 15, 2007 10:04 PM, Blogger Mando Mama said...

Hi there,

Shadow, I have not! I take it, I should!

Shameless, being a mom would not have been the same experience without you beside me. Thanks for all the gifts of wisdom and support you've given me over the years. The reward of watching our children grow and change and yet still remain somehow "connected" is marvelous and precious. We are indeed very fortunate in many many ways.


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