Just the other day, I was thinking to myself, I have very few regrets. I really do. The regret I blogged about a few months ago, of having spend six months in what I didn't realize was a dead-end relationship, apparently has a companion regret, of which I spoke in my last post.
The power of the human mind amazes me. I say to myself, "I am most fortunate. I have nearly no regrets. As it should be." And then I dream a dream that makes me remember that I do, and that these regrets almost always are about the things I can't take back.
I have a trespasser. The thought form came back again. Did I bid him, or is my unconscious trying to make amends? If that's the case, he's not really a trespasser. So I just observe. I listen. I allow him to tell me things, to be heard. His voice vibrates in my unconscious ear the way it did in waking times. The look on his face is no different and it speaks a thousand other words I never gave him the chance to use. We move about but never touch. I stay out of the way of any others in the imaginary rooms I inhabit with him in that temporary world.
Dreams do have a way of conjuring feelings, but in the end they are just dreams, and any feelings that follow us from these dreams into the waking world have to be acknowledged and released. We can base no expectation on these ephemeral meetings in the unconscious. They're not part of our waking world. They do not, in fact, exist. They never happened.
I promised a tune from Quartet, the new release with Peter Rowan and Tony Rice, and this Patti Smith tune from that CD is as fitting as any tune in the repertoire. The album is exquisite. In addition to great songs -- many written by Rowan -- and great playing by the title musicians, the material really shows off the talents of bassist Bryn Davies and mandolin playing of Sharon Gilchrist.
Trespasses
(Smith/Daugherty)
Life is designed
With unfinished lines
That another sings
Each story unfolds
Like it was gold
Upon a ragged wing
The bold and the fair
Suffer their share
He whispered to his kin
All of my debts
Left with regrets
I'm sorry for everything
Trespasses stretch like broken fences
Winding as they may
Trespasses sretch like broken fences
Hope to mend them one day
And she pinned back her hair
Shouldered with care
The burdens that were his
Mending the coat
That hung on the post
In heart remembering
Trespasses stretch like broken fences
Winding as they may
Trespasses stretch like broken fences
Hope to mend them one day
And her time was to come
Called to her son
This your song to sing
All of our debts
Wove with regrets
Upon a golden string
And he found the old coat
Hung on a post
Like a ragged wing
And took as his own
The sewn and unsown
Joyfully whistling
Trespasses stretch like broken fences
Winding as they may
Trespasses stretch like broken fences
Hope to mend them one day
I promised a tune from Quartet, the new release with Peter Rowan and Tony Rice, and this Patti Smith tune from that CD is as fitting as any tune in the repertoire. The album is exquisite. In addition to great songs -- many written by Rowan -- and great playing by the title musicians, the material really shows off the talents of bassist Bryn Davies and mandolin playing of Sharon Gilchrist. 
7 Comments:
Mando,
Just a caution... you may want to be more specific about which trespassers are welcome...
;-)
Love,
Shameless
As in, when throwing something out to the universe, I try to be more specific.
Like when I ask for lessons to learn, I ask that they be gentle.
'cause the universe has this way of giving us *exactly* what we ask for. Such literalism...
Love,
Shameless
LOL! Damn, that's a good point. Actually, trespassers in the unconscious world are not half-bad. I just try to figure out why they're there. After all, I'm the one conjuring them from my unconscious, I suppose.
Now, trespassers who have OPTED OUT of participating in my life but who still take advantage of the life tidbits offered here are another matter. I wrote a very friendly email last week to one alleged out-of-state "daypasser" and have, of course, heard nothing back. To me, that's the ultimate in cowardice and insult. And definitely, uninvited trespassing.
And that's part of the reason I have now password-protected my blog -- the uninvited trespassers. Especially those with malicious intent.
You know, at first I thought I'd only have my blog protected for a few weeks. Now that I've started experiencing the freedom to discuss the kinds of things I never would have posted in an open blog, like what I wrote the other day (A meaningful life), I think I am going to leave the password-protection in place.
This October will mark my 5th year of blogging. It's interesting for me to look at why I started, what I've done, and how my blog has evolved.
Love,
Shameless
Five years...wow, that's pretty hard to imagine. Life was a lot different five years ago. I'm glad you stuck with it and encourage me to keep going. I'm also glad that you feel more liberated to truly express yourself and maximize your blog now that you've gone to a password set up. I'm not sure I need to bother to prevent one pretty harmless person from spying on my relatively undaunting life.
I'm fortunate that, at least to my knowledge, none of the folks who visit my blog have any malicious intent, including that possible one person. I have lots of people who know me and who stop by and never comment but I don't take it personally. I've had some friends say they like to visit my blog because of the way its written despite the fact that they have no interest in bluegrass. So I'm lucky, and as far as who visits, pretty easy going. As I've said before, it's not a great hangout for thrill seekers, but not bad for folks who like tunes, contemplate life a bit thoroughly (LOL) and enjoy the give and take when it happens.
There's just one person who is unconfirmed but suspected of visiting for reasons other than sharing in the music and community offered here. And I could be wrong, most definitely. I'll probably never know. It is sad that someone who was once a significant part of our lives, yours AND mine, would rather lurk than either cut the cord or come forward. Certainly that person is hurting himself by continuing to do what he's doing, if it's who I think it is. But it's his life, his choice, and it is what it is.
I found out that my stalker tried to get dirt on me out of one of my best friends. What the f*ck?! What the hell was she thinking she'd do with dirt on me?
Let's just hope your friend really was a friend and didn't give her anything!
How old is this trespasser, 14?
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