The Tie that Binds

It's been a pretty extraordinary couple of days. The experience of returning to the X Family Fold in order to grieve the passing of my former mother in law taught me many things, not the least of which that this woman stood by her man.

My Xs parents were an extraordinary couple, and they had a love that I don't think I understood until today.

I'm surprised at the depth of my exhaustion but I wanted to mark this occasion with something somewhat happy. As I watched a wonderful slide show my former brother in law prepared, I was struck by one thing: there was underneath all the nearly 44 years of marriage between S and C something more genuine than most people realize.

I was really grateful that the love they shared extended far enough into the future to allow me the privilege of sharing this important day with people who by rights wouldn't ordinarily even still be speaking to me as an outsider. I'm grateful for that, because it allowed me to feel and release my sadness at losing this wonderful woman not just once, but twice -- through divorce and through death.

Regardless of my rocky relationship with X, I will always love his family. It is a privilege to have been part of that family and to have deepened their joy by sharing our children with them. That's a tie that binds, for better or worse, beyond and above the disagreements of the past and future between X and I.

This sweet song is dedicated to Senior and C. Thanks for touching me and my life in so many ways.