What Am I Missing?

I miss not writing to this blog. It's not as though I have terribly much to say that's terribly relevant to a terribly large number of people. But I miss the processing of something I feel is noteworthy and then finding a way to share it.

Things have been very hectic, busy. It's all good, except that I haven't had much time to practice for my Mando lesson tomorrow. Much of it is work related, which at least means I'll be able to keep my family fed through the summer.

About an hour ago (it's now going on 11 p.m.) I got back from a meeting with a group of faculty working on the project I referenced a post or two ago. Sitting among a group of music professors felt like home in a way. But with all my training, I bet I still would not be able to engage a single person in that room in a conversation about traditional American music.

After the meeting over dinner, I shared with my boss that probably what I needed to do was go directly to graduate school from my undergrad. I'm almost certain of that now. She is encouraging me to take steps and courses to forge ahead and is willing to support that, and I will take her up on it. Nonetheless, having come 'round to all this stuff at this point, I'll never know what I missed going right into the Orchestra world, green as the dewy grass on a June morning and without any idea of what really drives me. Hindsight is so damn 20.20.

Have a good night.